Ice Cavern Studios

It’s been over a month and a half. It doesn’t feel like it at all.

It feels…longer. It feels like I never left. It feels like I’ve been living here for the past two and a half years in full. I often find myself finding it hard to believe that I didn’t live here for over a year. Already Boston seems like such a far off memory. Nicole seems a far off memory. Almost as if it didn’t happen. Has it really only been seven weeks since I upped and moved back from the east coast? Has it really been such a short time?

Yet…

It feels…shorter. I’ve done so much since returning, it’s seemed like a blur. I’ve found a new place. Made new friends. Worked another Anime convention. Spent large amounts of time with my friends. I’ve completely submerrsed myself in my new job. I’m feeling like I’m getting traction. It’s all happening in such a rush, it’s kind of crazy.

It feels…like home.

I can definitely feel myself feeling more free. I’m getting back into the things I like that make me…me. I’m working out. I’m climbing. I’m watching Anime. I’m playing music. I’m going to concerts. I’m living technology. I look in the mirror and think, “Was I really that person? Did I really give all of this up? Why?”

I think I was so miserable in Boston because of all of the things I kind of just gave up. It wasn’t ok to be me. I was talking to Justin last night and he said “you should never be willing to change yourself unless it’s a change you WANT to make.” I made too many changes. I let what other people think of me take on too much importance. I wouldn’t have anime wallpapers on my work computers. I was afraid people would think I was weird. I know I didn’t feel like I fit in at Groove, and I was hesitant to be myself because of it.

Now…I just do what makes me happy. And, interestingly, people like me more for it.

It’s amazing how much better I feel being in Seattle. I had to do Boston. Maybe just to appriciate Seattle more. Hmmm….I think it’s time to get a move on. I have friends waiting for me so we can party. Well, they can party, I’m just gonna chill. I have enough partying to do this weekend.

Always lived my life alone,
Been searching for the place called home.
I know that I’ve been cold as ice,
Ignored the dreams, too many lies.
Somewhere deep inside, Somewhere deep inside me,
I found … the child I used to be
And I know that it’s not too late
Never too late…

Life and Times

Alright, so a lot has been going on, and I’m doing a really poor job of keeping people updated on what’s happening. I swear I’ll get better. Really I will. And this time, I have a good excuse. Well a couple.

So the first big thing has been I’ve been in the process of moving for the past week. And by moving, I mean actually moving into an apartment. My stuff was delivered to me last Monday and I’ve spent a good part of this week unpacking myself and getting my stuff organized. Unfortunatly, I was also sick last week, so I’m not quite as far as I would like to be. It’s rather difficult to get everything totally right when naps are required to keep you going. I’m hoping this week will see major progress and I’m hoping to be done by the end of next week. (I have a wedding this weekend back east so I have a lot to do for that as well).

So how is the new apartment? So far I like it. Mind you, I have only spent a few nights there, but so far so good. It’s just down the street from my temp housing, so I know the neighborhood. I also just like the layout of my apartment. It’s a one bedroom, and it just works. I’ve figured out my actual life style, and I think it’s going to fit pretty well with this. I will need to get one of the storage units in the building, but it’s pretty cheap, and I don’t have all that much I need to store there.

One of the things I’m really looking forward to is getting my cable/internet/video games set up. Right now, I’m not allowing myself to hook up my tv/stereo/etc until I have everything unpacked. I’ve decided I need to do this or else I’ll never get the place totally set up. I’m looking at it as an incentive laced package and it’s working pretty well. Although, I haven’t actually figured when I’m going to get Cable. I’m currently leeching internet access so the incentive to actually get just isn’t there. But I’ll get around to it eventually.

But otherwise, I have a place to live. I’m a resident of Seattle. Again.

Life and Times

So I thought it might be a good idea to report in on my path to fitness since having moved back to Seattle. I’m not going to go into too much detail, but I’ve definitely got a program in order. Some friends from work and I are getting up every morning to either lift or play raquetball. This is working out well, and it’s really easy to stay motivated. I’m also climbing twice a week, which is not only fun, but just so good for me.

I have gained a little bit of weight, but I think it’s mainly muscle mass. I’m definitely feeling stronger, so I don’t think I’m too far from where I was. Anyway, I’ll try to keep people posted as to how I’m doing.

Path to Fitness, Sports

Looks like I’m pulling another late night in the office. Oh well, think I’m to talk music and life for a bit.

So I’ve been listening to a lot of the Gorillaz, recently. I’ve always liked the group, but I just suddenly got back into their stuff. I’m not sure how I returned to the group, but all I know is that I suddenly found myself really wanting to hear them. Which, now that I think about it, is a good sign for me.

Here, let me explain that.

When I first started listening to the Gorillaz, it was the summer of 2002 and my life was, to put it bluntly, an f’n mess. I was generally unhappy with…well…life. Deaths in the family; trouble at school; and a bit of heartbreak had me in a rather sizable funk. As things started to get better, and I found myself regaining control, my friend Tiffany let me borrow the first album, Gorillaz. I remember listening to the album over and over again. It was never something I would listen to while driving, but when I was in my dorm room by myself.

I think it was the combination of lyrics that weren’t overly trite, nor were they always deep, heavy and brooding. I felt like the album kind of went with me on the ups and downs of my moods. I’d always feel good when 19-2000 came on, and I’d always feel much more introspective when listening to “Tomorrow Comes Today” or “Clint Eastwood.” Ultimately, though, I’d end the album feeling generally better as the final chords of “Clint Eastwood (Ed Case/Sweetie Irie Remix) would play. Looking back, the album was one of the ones that not only got me through those times, but was a soundtrack to my betterment as I listened to more of the upbeat songs and merely reflected on the more meloncholy.

So fast forward to now. Change the album to Demon Days. Like me, the album is more mature. It has the ups, and the downs, but I seem less effected by the “downs”. I’m finding myself listening and finding myself feeling happy. I can listen to it at work and kind of lose myself in my own little world. And I can feel myself getting better.

I guess it’s a good sign that I was humming “Dare” while waiting for my friends on the corner below my friends apartment last night. I was just happy. And Gorillaz was the only appropriate soundtrack.

Windmill windmill for the land
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all it on your stride
It is ticking falling down
Love forever love is free
Let’s turn forever you and me
windmill windmill for the land
Is everybody in?

Life and Times, Music