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It's been kind of a blah day today. I hate the days after I see Nicole. I'm always so depressed. Hopefully going to the gym will make me feel better. Or at least take my mind off of things.

Life and Times

…I can still say that Nicole is incredibly awesome. Seriously, it's been 18 months since we started dating. Well, it's been a little more than that, now. But still, that's a long time.

Actually, it's twice as long as my two longest relationships. relationships. Emily? Nine months? Sarah? Nine months? In another two months, you can take all of the relationships I've had, add them together, and they STILL won't equal the amount of time we've been together. And want to know something? She's still awesome.

The picture from today's post is from the 3rd day of House Parties, and as you can see, she's gorgeous. All day long, I couldn't help but just watch her and think, “how am I so blessed?” Seriously. Nicole would catch me looking at her and ask what was up. Only whenever she'd ask, I'd just blush and look away.

And our relationship is maturing, which is also a bit scary. Change is never easy, and I haven't done the best job of handling it. But change is good. I realized tonight that Nicole no longer thinks I'm just going to up and leave her. I've moved over into the category of people that she can just know will be there. Like her family, really. It's easy to feel like you're not important, or being taken for granted. But you have to realize that you're not being ignored, you just have to share.

Nicole's been really busy, lately. She's got to juggle work and the little time left she has at Princeton. She's excited about starting another part of her life. A new place, a new job. It's just like I was a year ago.

Ironically, she had the same feelings,then, that I had this past weekend. I remember her telling me as much (in 2004). So I'm actually a lot more at ease, now. And I have to be.

I'm needed. I'm an important support to a beautiful, intelligent, kind, wonderful woman. I'm a lucky blessed man.

Life and Times

I had a good part of a post typed out. It was about my feelings about this weekend. How things have been coming up in the past couple of weeks. A lot of it about my future. Mainly Nicole and where I stand. Both in terms of us, but also just me.

I had that post. But it got deleted. And in that time, I got some of the best advice I’ve received in the past couple of months:

Milton: stay close to those you love man
Milton: better than any money you could be making

I think that about sums up my feelings, beliefs, and values. My dad said he was happiest that he raised me to value money, but not to obsess over it. And that allows me to view things in terms of when to let money no longer influence me.

This doesn’t mean I save. Or plan for the future. To the contrary. I save a lot of money. More than many of the people I hang out with.

But money does not control my destiny.

A lot of people have told me that Nicole chose her career over me. That I’m not important enough to her. They’ve told me that I should leave her. Find someone in Seattle. They tell me to think about my future. About the career I could have at Microsoft. Think about the possibilities.

To be honest. That’s very short sided. Where God sends me, he sends me. If I’m only supposed to be in Seattle for a short time, so bit it. If I’m supposed to be there forever, then so be it. But for now, he has led me to her. So that’s the course I’m on.

The funny thing is, I have gotten two different reactions from people when I have told them about Nicole going to MIT. The one I get in Seattle tends to be negative. Iget more, “you should leave her”s from them. They seem to think that I should end things now and move on. The other reaction I get is from Princeton folk. It’s more of a “that’s awesome” followed by a “so when you going to Boston.”

I seem to get more understanding from people in Princeton than anywhere else. I guess this really makes sense. They’ve seen more of me with Nicole. They’ve seen me without her. They also have a better understanding of the complete situation. They understand every aspect a lot better. I was talking to some friends of ours on Friday, and when I told them about my prospective plans, they just looked at me and said, “yup, that’s about right.”

Yup, that’s about right, in deed.

Life and Times