Stock Market Day…
Full of ups and downs. The general trend is up, but there were some moves that quieted the floor. Overall, I think things are still ok. Not as sure as before, but still thinking ok.
Work was good today. As I said earlier, I got into a good groove. The groove was good. Yes, yes it was. Unfortunately, as I left the groove, thinks kind of sucked. Got to thinking about things, and I just didn't like where it was going.
Thankfully, the gym happened. I like the gym. It gets my mind off of things. Which is good. Plus I found out I'm now down to 147 pounds. I'm trimming up, slowly. Hopefully by the next time I see Nicole, I can be ultra ripped and stuff.
Speaking of Nicole, I'm hoping things will slowly go back to normal. By what she's been blogging, it sounds like things are getting better. She's not quite ready to talk to me, yet. But I still hope to get that phone call saying she wants to talk. I've kind of given up on the thought of her IMing me, but that's fine. I've made it so she can't, which is more for me, than anything else.
I think the hardest part of the past five days is trying to control my own feelings and my thoughts. The problem is I, I have a hard time keeping the irrational thoughts out of my head. That's the hardest part. Because my head makes it to be worse than it is.
So yeah. I'm my own worst enemy. The thing is, I know how she feels. I know she cares; she's just not ready. And I have to wait. I just hate waiting. But once the waiting is done, the healing can commence. And I'll have my baby back. That's all I really want. My baby.
