So, I haven't written in the past couple of days. And I have good reason. 1. Things with Nicole are better.(Less upset posts) 2. I've been out with friends the past couple of days till all hours.(Too tired to post) But yes, life has been pretty good.
So yes, firstly, things with Nicole are a lot better. There’s still some healing to be done, but things are otherwise good. She’s doing a hell of a lot better. She seems to at least be in control of things. And she got into MIT and Northwestern (officially). This helped things out a lot. She’s at least going to grad school somewhere. So yeah, that made things better.
Secondly, my social calendar has been quite full. Thursday night was the Zoji appreciation party. Nothing says fun like a surprise party that goes till 2 AM. Oh yeah. Friday night was more climbing and then hanging out at the Shen residence. And tonight was Dan Shen’s birthday party. So every night for the past couple of nights, I’ve ended up on the west side till all hours. Of course, that means that sleeping has taken a hit, but still.
So yeah, things are good. Tonight was a lot of fun. There was dancing, and chilling. Some singing. Picture taking. And all kinds of other fun. And so now, I shall sleep. Before 5. Can you believe it?
Life and Times
I started feeling not so hot last night at the gym. As the night went on, I continuelly felt it coming on, but figured I'd sleep and it would go away. Nope. I was wrong. So now I'm taking a sick day. This is good, I was thinking of taking a mental health day, so I can kind of take both right now and just try to feel better.
Life and Times
I decided to put this picture up, as a reminder. To me. A reminder of what I'm waiting for. Of who I'm waiting for. See, I'm going to be honest. I've been a complete bitch. No seriously. I've acted like an immature little bitch. And that's not fair. So, here I am. On the front, top portion of my blog, apologizing in the most noticable, public way I can. Nicole Ann DiLello, I have been a complete ass-hat the past couple of days. I've been whiny. Depressing. Clingy in a passive aggressive way. I've been everything but what I should be. Supportive. So, in the same place where I've made a complete fool of myself, I want to say that I'm here for you. Ready or not. Anyway you want to, feel free to get a hold of me. I'll be there. I promise. I love you.
Life and Times
Full of ups and downs. The general trend is up, but there were some moves that quieted the floor. Overall, I think things are still ok. Not as sure as before, but still thinking ok.
Work was good today. As I said earlier, I got into a good groove. The groove was good. Yes, yes it was. Unfortunately, as I left the groove, thinks kind of sucked. Got to thinking about things, and I just didn't like where it was going.
Thankfully, the gym happened. I like the gym. It gets my mind off of things. Which is good. Plus I found out I'm now down to 147 pounds. I'm trimming up, slowly. Hopefully by the next time I see Nicole, I can be ultra ripped and stuff.
Speaking of Nicole, I'm hoping things will slowly go back to normal. By what she's been blogging, it sounds like things are getting better. She's not quite ready to talk to me, yet. But I still hope to get that phone call saying she wants to talk. I've kind of given up on the thought of her IMing me, but that's fine. I've made it so she can't, which is more for me, than anything else.
I think the hardest part of the past five days is trying to control my own feelings and my thoughts. The problem is I, I have a hard time keeping the irrational thoughts out of my head. That's the hardest part. Because my head makes it to be worse than it is.
So yeah. I'm my own worst enemy. The thing is, I know how she feels. I know she cares; she's just not ready. And I have to wait. I just hate waiting. But once the waiting is done, the healing can commence. And I'll have my baby back. That's all I really want. My baby.
Life and Times
So I tried to rush things too quickly. That didn't work. So I'm going to take a few steps back and start this again. Give it some more time. That's the only way for me to move forward.
Make that two steps back. Damn this sucks. It sucks, and it doesn't feel like it's getting better. It feels like a break-up, but it isn't. Which is why I think this is getting to me so much; it just doesn't feel right.
I'm supposed to just deal with it. But how? I just can't feel at ease about this. Why do I have this nasty feeling that the near future is going to really suck. Sigh…
Life and Times
