Ice Cavern Studios

Right now, I'm sitting on the balchony of my family's condo that overlooks the Atlantic Ocean. It has been almost four years since I was last down here, and already, I know tat it was a mistake not coming back here. Well, not a mistake; my reasons for not coming down here with my family were good (I was always working). I just get the feeling that coming down here probably would have been a major relief for my psyche.

Being here is very relaxing. The thermomater says it's close to 80 degrees, but it feels closer to 70. A gentle breeze is coming off the ocean, cooling things down. There is the continual smell of salt water and sand. It's very picturesque. Mind you, I'm on the fourth floor of an ocean front condo in South Carolina, so my vantage is a bit skewed. Yet, I needed this.

To be honest, I haven't done much beyond, eat, sleep, watch tv and read here. My family is currently in the mode of, do what we want when we want. I've only been down to the actual beach once, and that was to go on a walk with mom. Nicole thinks I'm nuts for not just laying about on the beach, but I just haven't felt like sitting and baking in the sun (the balcony is covered). Mind you, it's close to 90 in the sun and I am not a big fan of heat.

But yeah, I love it down here. It's a change from Ohio, and definetly a big a change from Princeton. All of the hustle and bustleof the east is conviengently situated up north in Myrtle Beach. Here in Litchfield (we're on the same island of Myrtle Beach, but it's not as overgrown), it's much more quiet. It used to be even more so, almost to the point of being desolate, but word of a nice seaside town that wasn't built up spread. Thankfully careful zoning and a commitment to preventing overgrowth has helped keep this part of the island quiet. It is this quiet that I have needed so desperatly these past couple of months.

There is nothing here to really distract me or to get me riled up. Sure I don't have much to do in Cincinnati, but there is something about it that doesn't quite let me feel totally at ease. Cincinnati hasn't really felt like home in a couple of years. It's where my family lives, but it doesn't feel the same. My father told me that it would feel less and less like home as I would get older, and it's slowly happened. Yet, while it hasn't felt like home, because of the time I spent there, it isn't always the most relaxing place to be.

I think a lot of this has to do with the associations that Cincinnati has in relation to Princeton. Cincinnati has always where I've gone just before, or just after having been to Princeton. It's been a bit of a transfer stop over the past four years. Since the summer of 2000, I've been living so on the go, that I've never really taken the time to just stop and chill out. Bouncing from one place to the next, this is the longest I've ever stayed in Cincinnati, as well as the lonest I've ever gone without working. This has definetly taken some getting used to. But, I think I finally am.

So now, I am here in beautiful South Carolina, and I am living the life. This has been four years in the making, and I must say, this break has definetly been worth the wait.

Life and Times

So my time in Ann Arbor has come to an end. Yesterday, Dad and I got up in the morning and drove back to Cincinnati. (Mom and Syd took a plane to Tennessee for a dance competition) It was good being back at camp and Ann Arbor. It sucks that I won't be back there for a while, but I will be back some day (if nothing else, my sister will graduate from there).

My time at camp was pretty chill. I spent time just hanging out with my friends and occasionally helping with class. I had a good time telling old “war” stories just being around kids again. It was also cool to see how the staff has grown. A lot of the full time counselors were CIT's when I worked there. Now they're college students working full time for the camp. It's like watching family grow up. I'm really proud of the staff, they've come a long way since I first met them.

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Well, tomorrow, I'm going to start my three week vacation. One week is going to be spent with my parents at our condo in South Carolina, and two weeks are going to be spent in California with Nicole. I've been looking forward to this for a couple of weeks now. I've been spending a lot of time around cincinnati, and it's time that I got out of here a bit longer. Plus I really miss Nicole like crazy. Yeah, this is going to be awesome. ALright, time for bed, I need to get up and pack. Later.

Life and Times

So I have decided that I want to return to the world of counter-strike obsessed children and late nights being way too noisy. Yeah, I'm back at Camp Caen. It's a bit weird being back, especially since so many of the people I worked with have moved on to other places. It is definetly a lot of fun to be here without any responsibility.

So yeah, last night, my entire family plus my sister's friend David drove up to Ann Arbor from Cincinnati. My sister is here for orientation, and I've come up to just kind of hang out and chill. I'm enjoying myself, especially since I don't actually have to do all that much. Yay no responsibility!!

But yeah, I'm having a good time right now. This is definetly a good break from what I had been doing for a while, which was nothing. I'm hoping to teach something at some point, but right now, I'm just kind of chilling and watching my old junior staffers work. Hehehe.

Life and Times

I didn't want to be up this late, but I am. It's not like I didn't try to sleep. I just had a sudden flash of anxiety and bam, I can't sleep. I've had these flashes of anxiety before, especially during my last few weeks of school when the fear of not graduating became worse and worse. I just wasn't expecting that I'd still have them as badly now as I did then.

I know that it is normal to have nightmares about college when one is long since graduated. I have heard this countless times before. I expect it will happen, or that I will wake up terrified that I haven't for a test. It's going to happen, it's unavoidable.

What no one warned me about was that it would happen without falling asleep, without dreaming. It just happened, and it's a bit scary. What's particularly scary is that I forgot for a moment that I had graduated. I felt exactly the same as I did in my last week of finals. It was as if I were reliving all of it. Thankfully I have been able to regain composure, but it's still scary.

This is why I'm glad I'm taking time before starting work. I wish I could start, and I know my group at Microsoft needs me, but I'm just not in a place mentally where I'm ready to have any kind of work related stress put on me. I'm honestly trying to recouprate from all of the stress I've had over the past four years, and the past year especially. People may think I'm crazy, but that's how much pressure is put on people at Princeton.

So I'm glad that I'm taking this time. I'm glad that I don't have anything to do but bum around. I'm glad because trying to start work to soon would just mess me up. As I'm typing this up, I'm trying to overcome the sudden grip of fear and anxiety that came over me. My muscles are tight. I'm having to actively control my breathing. It's insane.

Sigh…

At least I'm done. And I'm going to start traveling tomorrow (a bit of a change of schedule). Going to visit camp will be fun, although right now, I'm looking more forward to South Carolina and then California. Both of which are all about me relaxing and not being stressed. It's just what I need to prepare myself for Seattle. Ahhhhhh yeeeaaahhhhh.

Life and Times

Sorry about a lack of posting these last few days, but I've been busy with car stuff. Mainly buying a new car. So yeah, as you can see, I have a new ride.

The Car I bought was a new 2004 Mazda RX-8. It's a six speed manual (have to get a manual) and it's sweet and I love it. (As much as one can an inanimate object.)

The last couple of days have been fun, after finally getting the car, I've been driving around seeing friends and getting bits of business done. Mainly I've been searching for a way to get my iPod to play through the stereo (I don't have auxillary in or a cassete player).

The first bit of car fun was getting the car. Since the RX-8 is at the top of the price range for Mazda, they don't seem to have a lot of them at the dealerships around here. This proved to be interesting because in order to get an RX-8 with the options I wanted before I left for Seattle, we had to find a car at a (relatively) near by dealership and have it sent to mine. This proved to be easier said then done, especially when we were trying to find one in one of three colors. I spent Wensday and Thursday afternoons on the phone back and forth between my father and the dealer working to get a car. I started by asking for a black car, but they couldn't find one, but they said they found a titanium grey one. That car had actually been sold, and they instead had a silver one. After agreeing to take the silver one (my third preference in terms of color) we found out that the car had leather seats (which I didn't want and would have had to have paid extra for). So after more searching, a black version was found in Lexington. By the time this car was found, I knew that I wouldn't even see the car till Friday, which was later than I had originally been told I would have the car (we agreed to one color on Wensday only to find out on Thursday it had the wrong seats). But after all of that work, I got the car on Friday.

I then spent the rest of Friday driving around with my friend Keagen (aka Casey) looking for a watch and an FM Tuner. I didn't find a tuner yesterday (well I did, but I needed to research it more before buying it), but I did get a watch. I settled on a Timex Ironman digital watch. It's pretty basic, much like the one's I had when I was younger. There are things I like about this more than the watch it replaces, but there are things I miss. It's a bit of a comprimise. I do like the bigger time readout, which is nice, since I can read it easily without my glasses on. So I'm happy.

Yeah, I'm pretty happy right now. I miss Nicole a lot, but I'm going to see her in an ever decreasing amount of time (which is awesome). I'm going to start travelling soon, which I'm looking forward to a lot. And I have this brand new car that I really really like. Yup. Life is good.

Life and Times